My man is really special, and from all indications he likes coming home. He likes our life together. There IS a secret that helps make this possible. At least the empirical evidence of Debi’s life quality points to this conclusion.
It’s all about the honey-do list.
Seriously? Men hate honey-do lists. They sit on the couch for six months saying they’ll “get to it.” Ha.
So I’ll let ya in on my covert formula: create that list with care… Wait! Hang with me. Stop and clear your head. Ready? Now, think… what does he really enjoy (other than sex – that’s a given). My guy – he likes to shop, travel, eat, drink, take long grueling bike rides, talk, watch dark complicated TV shows, dissolve into silly laughter. So there you have it: that’s his honey-do list. As long as I stick to that list, he doesn’t mind me asking – in fact he jumps to do his chores. Works every time.
Example: during last night’s dinnertime honey-do conversation (not that he’s aware we’re executing his list), I blurt my theory out loud. He takes this all in with twinkling eyes. And… next thing ya know we’re researching and booking a 4-night trip to Tahoe in August.
Moral of the story: plan your honey-do list with care.
It happens. Often. We’re attracted to someone who has strengths that we wish we had or someone who looks at life through a very different set of lenses than our own.
Why does it happen? Is it a good thing? The answers depend on the motivations behind the attraction. Are you grasping at a characteristic in someone in order to not have to own and nourish that characteristic in yourself OR are you attracted in the hopes of developing that strength yourself?
“Love is what makes two people sit in the middle of a bench when there is plenty of room at both ends.” – Anonymous
Have you ever thought about why you act the way you do in a relationship? Do you think it’s just chance? Do you see patterns emerge in your behavior? I’ve observed patterns in my behavior – some I’m more than happy to own, others make me cringe. Continue reading
We go to the trouble of finding a mate who is enough different from us to create a complimentary relationship, and then we work hard to sculpt them to our image – this phenomenon is called “The Pygmalion Project”.
We each have a particular aim in life, which, of course, is so important to us that we feel all other persons, especially our mates, should share our desires. The Artisan’s basic search in life is for exciting sensations; the Guardian’s is social and economic security; the Idealist’s is personal identity; the Rational’s is useful knowledge. Continue reading