What I Love You “Sounds” Like From an Introvert

An epiphany hit me this morning on the way to work.

I was listening to Bob Edwards on my XM radio as he interviewed Dan Gediman the author of This I Believe: On Love.  Mr. Gediman spoke of a short essay in his book written by Debra Bronow titled “Hand-Knit Socks”; a charming story of how she shows her love through her creative knitting… and it happened: a truth I’ve always known about myself slapped me across the face and told me to reveal in my introverted modus operandi (ie: writing trumps speaking every time) of how I tell my loved ones that I love them.

It’s hard for me to utter the words “I Love You”.  The more I love you, the harder it is to say.  Why are introverts like that?  It can be a little (sometimes a lot) frustrating.  If my loved ones say it to me first, then I can return the words much easier.  But to be the first one to form those sounds… tears are more likely to escape me than words.  Awkward, huh?

Since childhood, I’ve expressed my love in actions, like all good Introverts should.  And since I’m an ISFP, those actions come in the form of creativity.  As a girl, I sewed and sewed, knitted, crocheted, embroidered, etc… bestowing gifts to say “I Love You”.  When my incredible and creative mom (I just told you of my love, Mom) taught me to cook, I had a new avenue for brandishing my love.

I have taken that talent and expanded it through the years.  I create recipes, cook elaborate meals, make wine, brew beer, etc… lavishly serving all to family, friends and guests – every bit of it in the name of love whether the consumer realizes it or not.

Now (starting in the fall of ’09) I write – a new creative outlet for me, a cathartic and healing outlet; an unbelievably rewarding phase of my life.  I’ve remained true to my Introverted nature: rather than speaking, I send published love notes when the inspirations hit me.  I get overpowering urges causing bursts of energy to escape my fingertips: an evening with my beautiful daughter and old friends gave birth to Beauty; a need to thank my mom and dad for relationship knowledge produced Always, Never; the loving support of my boyfriend, even when I don’t deserve to be loved, led to You Make It Right.

I am endlessly thankful for this wonderful method of expression.  I plan to nurture and care for it like I care for and nurture all my loves.

And for my loved ones that I haven’t devoted a piece to, I will as soon as the inspiration hits me.

– debi

Why Do Opposites Attract?

It happens.  Often.  We’re attracted to someone who has strengths that we wish we had or someone who looks at life through a very different set of lenses than our own.

Why does it happen?  Is it a good thing?  The answers depend on the motivations behind the attraction.  Are you grasping at a characteristic in someone  in order to not have to own and nourish that characteristic in yourself OR are you attracted in the hopes of developing that strength yourself?

Continue reading

Dining Through the Senses of an ISFP

I run across the parking lot, rain bouncing off my umbrella and dash under the porte-cochere, legs drenched from the knees down. A man exits the restaurant and holds the door; his wife and I exchange places and smiles. My umbrella merges with others in a growing flower arrangement of nylon and metal on the floor. Continue reading

What Kind of Mate Are You?

“Love is what makes two people sit in the middle of a bench when there is plenty of room at both ends.” – Anonymous

Have you ever thought about why you act the way you do in a relationship?  Do you think it’s just chance?  Do you see patterns emerge in your behavior?  I’ve observed patterns in my behavior – some I’m more than happy to own, others make me cringe. Continue reading

How To Ruin A Relationship

We go to the trouble of finding a mate who is enough different from us to create a complimentary relationship, and then we work hard to sculpt them to our image – this phenomenon is called “The Pygmalion Project”.

We each have a particular aim in life, which, of course, is so important to us that we feel all other persons, especially our mates, should share our desires.  The Artisan’s basic search in life is for exciting sensations; the Guardian’s is social and economic security; the Idealist’s is personal identity; the Rational’s is useful knowledge.  Continue reading

Who We Are First and Second

Now that we know our MBTI type (if you don’t know yet, please take this type test and remember your letters), we can explore further how our personality unfolds; how we interact, why we react the way we do.

The P or J at the end of our type combined with the E or I at the beginning tells us whether we use the second or the third letter as our primary personality function.  Clear as pea soup, right?

Ok, let’s unravel the mystery.  Find your letters below: Continue reading