An epiphany hit me this morning on the way to work.
I was listening to Bob Edwards on my XM radio as he interviewed Dan Gediman the author of This I Believe: On Love. Mr. Gediman spoke of a short essay in his book written by Debra Bronow titled “Hand-Knit Socks”; a charming story of how she shows her love through her creative knitting… and it happened: a truth I’ve always known about myself slapped me across the face and told me to reveal in my introverted modus operandi (ie: writing trumps speaking every time) of how I tell my loved ones that I love them.
It’s hard for me to utter the words “I Love You”. The more I love you, the harder it is to say. Why are introverts like that? It can be a little (sometimes a lot) frustrating. If my loved ones say it to me first, then I can return the words much easier. But to be the first one to form those sounds… tears are more likely to escape me than words. Awkward, huh?
Since childhood, I’ve expressed my love in actions, like all good Introverts should. And since I’m an ISFP, those actions come in the form of creativity. As a girl, I sewed and sewed, knitted, crocheted, embroidered, etc… bestowing gifts to say “I Love You”. When my incredible and creative mom (I just told you of my love, Mom) taught me to cook, I had a new avenue for brandishing my love.
I have taken that talent and expanded it through the years. I create recipes, cook elaborate meals, make wine, brew beer, etc… lavishly serving all to family, friends and guests – every bit of it in the name of love whether the consumer realizes it or not.
Now (starting in the fall of ’09) I write – a new creative outlet for me, a cathartic and healing outlet; an unbelievably rewarding phase of my life. I’ve remained true to my Introverted nature: rather than speaking, I send published love notes when the inspirations hit me. I get overpowering urges causing bursts of energy to escape my fingertips: an evening with my beautiful daughter and old friends gave birth to Beauty; a need to thank my mom and dad for relationship knowledge produced Always, Never; the loving support of my boyfriend, even when I don’t deserve to be loved, led to You Make It Right.
I am endlessly thankful for this wonderful method of expression. I plan to nurture and care for it like I care for and nurture all my loves.
And for my loved ones that I haven’t devoted a piece to, I will as soon as the inspiration hits me.